Why Men Cheat

So I was reading this interesting story on Yahoo! or someplace about "why men are unfaithful." According to the counselor who conducted some kind of study on unfaithful men, the number one reason why men cheat on their wives is, hold your breath, under-appreciation. Apparently men have a tremendous need to win, and if they feel that they are not "winning" in a relationship, they start to withdraw from their spouse.

So gee, on top of all the number of times we have to say "thank you" just because our husband deigns to put his dish in the sink, we have to figure out other ways to show our appreciation so that he doesn't stray!

OK, I can't complain. My husband not only puts his dishes in the sink, but washes them, loads the dishwasher, wipes down the kitchen counters and swiffers the floor. And I do appreciate it. I do. I am very vocal about my appreciation too. Is the compliment returned? Umm, not so often. In fact, getting a compliment from the husband's a lot like extracting teeth -- a painful experience.

Does that mean I am going to get down and dirty with somebody at the nearest motel? I don't think so! Sounds like an excuse to me.

On the other hand, everyone appreciates being appreciated, right? Cee Kay was ranting in a recent post about a similar thing. The double standard where the husband is praised to the skies by parents, in-laws, etc. for doing work around the house. But the lady of the house can't do enough for her family to be similarly praised. Even the husband, the person who one would think would be supremely aware of what his wife does to keep the family functioning in a well-oiled fashion -- even he seems to take all that work for granted.

It would be so nice to be appreciated by our spouses. Just once in a while. Just a few words is all it takes to make my day. To make all the cooking, cleaning, feeding feel less like chores and more like one's making a difference. Even when people KNOW that they're doing mundane stuff that needs to be done. Just because everyone has to do it, should it be any less of a big deal?

The counselor in the news story had some useful stuff to say too: about how it's important for a husband and wife to shut off the TV and the "Crackberrys" and communicate for about 45 minutes at least 4 times a week. I know if I don't "download" my day to P, I feel dissatisfied. Like I haven't completely de-stressed. And TV, email, blogging (!), cell phones all cut into the time I have with him.

So shut down the electricity and light some candles, people! Maybe we can then have a heart-to-heart about our MUTUAL need for appreciation.