Thursday, November 16, 2006

Blow Blue! OSU-Michigan Show(down) Time!

Our house is under siege this weekend. The word on the street is that on D-Day, a battalion of Go Blue troopers are planning to storm the Buckeye Bastion to psyche out a certain green-eyed Hidden Weapon wielded to ensure a scarlet-and-gray Fiesta.

If you're not a college football aficionado, the above probably makes no sense to you. If I were you, I'd skip this post. But if you're looking forward to this Saturday's Ohio State-Michigan pre-national championship game like everyone else in our home breathlessly is, then read on.

The husband has informed me that certain Wolverine fans at his workplace, including his boss, are planning to drop in uninvited. The goal: to cower our cat Pikey, so the Buckeyes will lose, paving the way for Michigan participation in the Fiesta Bowl. Yep, you read that right. You're about to discover the world's best kept secret. The reason why the Buckeyes win, often against seemingly unsurmountable odds, is not because of Luck or Talent (though the Buckeye Team is brimming with both) but because of a certain purring black cat.

Remember how the road to the 2002 National Championship was littered with unexplainable last-second victories? Remember Cincinnati? And the Fiesta Bowl double OT victory against Miami which became an instant ESPN classic?

During that entire season, Pikey was being appeased and coddled and fed treats. If Pikey wasn't in the TV room, the Buckeyes would show every sign of losing. When Pikey was purring in a warm lap, the Buckeyes would make a miraculous turnaround and get a truly amazing win. It's worked almost every single game every fall every year.

It's reached the point where Pikey has attained legendary status at my husband's workplace. And this year with the National Championship at stake, it's no wonder she makes the Wolverines bluer than blue.

Ergo Operation Go Blue is in the works. But word has leaked, and we shall be prepared to engage the enemy toting our scarlet-and-gray sweats. Go Buckeyes! Blow Blue!

Monday, November 13, 2006

Newzed Out

As the situation in Iraq deteriorates, I find myself heading straight for the "Entertainment" section of any news site or news mag. It's terrible, I know, but I've had it. I am done with bungling Bush and his blundering buddies. I have no interest in al-Sadr and al-Maliki, and I have absolutely no opinion on the theoretical partitioning of Iraq and the ensuing fallout.

Ask me about Tom and Katie's pending nuptials, and I might show a glimmer of interest. Talk to me about Angelina Jolie frolicking on a jam-packed Mumbai train, and I might read that story (and go back in time to days of sweat-stained armpits under my nose, commuting to college by the grasp of a couple of fingers, pushed by elbows and prodded by soaky umbrellas, ah, the good old days).

Occasionally, I might take a peek at a serious story ("What, salmonella in Hershey bars?" or "Will the loser of next week's showdown between No. 1 Ohio State and No. 2 Michigan fall below No. 2 in the final BCS standings?").

But for now, TomKat and Brangelina supply all the mind fodder I need.