Went to a fun girly party tonight, complete with girly talk of boyfriends and upcoming marriages. That most of that talk was coming from two gals in their late 30s-early 40s was kind of interesting. Both were divorced, had kids.
One was getting married New Year's Eve after a whirlwind courtship of just 3 months. She was starry-eyed, which seems to be typical of everyone during the first months of romance, regardless of age or previous marital status. Trying to explain the fast pace of the relationship, she said it just felt right. Her boys had taken to him; he'd become part of the family. And when she cuddled against him at night, their breathing was in rhythm. They just were in sync.
The other lady had been dating this guy on and off for about 2 1/2 years. In September, they became "exclusive." But something was off. This lady talked and analyzed and brooded out loud to us, and it seemed like she'd been thinking about this relationship for a long time. She really liked him, she said, and they were trying to make it work. "We'll wait and see," she ended.
Her story seemed to me a stark contrast from the starry-eyed one. Who's taking a smarter approach to their relationship? Both have been burned more than once. What makes one relationship feel right, and another relationship so much work? How important is instinct versus reason? And most importantly, in the end, who's going to live happily ever after?
Will either? I just read some research that said in the next couple of decades, the U.S. will have more stepfamilies than "normal" ones. And that 60 percent of remarriages end in divorce.
I'm a romantic at heart, so I'm hoping both of my friends have happy endings to their stories. But I'm putting my money on the starry-eyed one.
2 comments:
v.b. (that's mrs. s.b., in case you are unaware) pointed out (and i am sure i am paraphrasing her thought) that when a girl/woman/lady wants a relationship to work, it miraculously does. have you wondered - like i have - that none of 'the bachelor's married, whereas the one bachelorette did?
- s.b.
Hmmm, interesting. I have several friends with failed marriages who'd beg to differ. Plus, I think that the reason the bachelors didn't marry was because they were listening to their glands, not their hearts.
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